UUUUGGGGGHHHHHH MEN!!!

So, this post isn't going to be about dating.  This post is about men and how some are very stupid.  Those of you who actually know me personally know that I live in a very small town.  Well, last night after an excruciating day and long evening teaching my night class, I called a good friend of mine and we went out for a beer at the local small town bar.  Yes, it was poker night, so the men were there, but we just sat at our own table, had a cold beer, and planned to just chat.

Well, as we were having some much needed girl time, a clearly inebriated guy plopped down at our table.  He is a local, so I didn't think anything of it.  However, as time went on, he made it very clear that he wanted either one or both of us to "take him home."  But here's the problem-my friend is married and very happily so.  I am unmarried, but definitely not interested.  And he is very married.  We tolerated his comments for awhile, but then my friend just flat out started dogging on him. And he just kept coming with it.  Hello; get a clue!!!!  What sent me over the edge was when he tried to run his foot up my leg.  It made me shudder with disgust.

The moral of this little story is if you are married, don't hit on me or my friends.  If you are married and in a small town, don't hit on anyone.  Get a clue.  I feel sorry for this man's wife

More WTF's from online dating

Here is another example of what not to do while trying to score an online date:

1. Do not let your initial opening line to me be "Wow u r hot!"  I promise that won't get a response from me.
2. Another opening line, "Hey, what's going on." followed by the next message being "So, you want to get together?"  Seriously, you do not know me, nor do I know you.  Why would you ever think that two online messages would be enough to get me to meet up with you?
3. If you ask me on a date and I tell you that I am doing something with my daughters, do not tell me to just bring them along.  Seriously?  If you want my kids along on a date, I'm going to question who you really are and what you really want.
4. And yes again, spell check people.  One or two typos on occasion are acceptable; a misspelled word in every sentence is not.
5. Above all, just be yourself. Do not pretend to be someone else just to score a date.  Some of us are actually looking for the right person; the one that we want to be with forever. Don't waste our time playing games.  If you want to play games, go pick up a woman at the bar.

A persons past......

Recently I met someone whom I like very much....this person does have a past, but who in their 30s doesn't?  People can be so judgmental about a person's past life.  Yes, we all have some things in our past that we aren't proud of.  What matters is what you've learned from it and how that has changed who you are today.  I have a past and at times I feel like I've been harshly judged for it.  Yes, I am twice divorced.....Yes I married and had a child with a man who turned out to be an abuser and worse.  However, that has made me into the person that I am today-a stronger, wiser, and more independent woman.  So, judge me for my past if you must, but remember, I am who I am because of it.  If you are going to judge someone, look at those who have not learned from their past, but continue to repeat the same mistakes over & over.

Best date ever

So, I've been blogging a lot about dating in my 30s......let me tell you about the best date that I've had in a long time.  Last night, I spent time with a very special person-one that can always make me smile.  We went to the Harlem Globetrotters in Dodge City....we talked, laughed, and had a fantastic time.  I really appreciate this person so much and want to make sure this person realizes how much I love them.  Who is this date you ask?  It was a night out with my 13 year old daughter.  Sometimes the best "dates" are just spending time with my girls.  I love them so much.  It was nice to spend time with someone that I love more than life itself.

Reflections.....

Technically, I've been "dating" since about August 2011.  In that time, I've met a variety of men-some I've actually met and gone on dates with; others I haven't truly met, but have gotten to know them online.  Some of them are honestly loser men.......simply looking for the next woman to take care of them.  Some are men just looking for a "booty call."  Others are just boys (and yes I mean boys).  Others are amazing guys, that I have nothing in common with-"Cowboy" is a perfect example of this. "Cowboy" and I had a few great dates and talked about how we could hang out every weekend and have a great time, but it would never go anywhere.  He and I are in the dreaded "friend" zone, but I love how we can be a sounding board for each other and have become such good friends.  Still, others have as crazy of a schedule as I do, and it's so hard to find time to talk, let alone hang out together.  Distance also seems to be an issue with most men I meet.  But sometimes, you get that one person that you can't get out of your mind.....no matter what you do.....you wonder if he's truly a good man for you....do you actually have enough in common?  I guess only time will tell......can you truly be a good match?  Or are you both just wasting your time?  I guess somehow it will all work out.

Another WTF are you thinking?

Yes, I am online dating.  Yes, I am looking for that special person.  However, in reading my profile, what would make you think that I am interested in someone young enough to biologically be my son?  Seriously?  I didn't sign up for www.cougars.com, did I?  A younger guy is not an issue, as long as its within reason.  I'm 37-would consider someone as young as 32 (maybe).  But 18, 21, and 22?  Seriously? I don't want to feel like I am spending an evening babysitting.  Besides, where would you take me???  A few of you are not even old enough to take me out for a drink. If you are too young to know who Def Leppard or Motley Crue are, then you are too young for me.  If you are a traditional college student, you are also too young for me.  If you are closer in age to my 13 yr old daughter (or even my 5 yr old daughter for that matter), then you are DEFINITELY way too young for me.  I am looking for a man, not a boy that still plays with Hot Wheels.  

Online men categories

Who would've ever thought that online dating would bring out such a vast array of men?  I guess I assumed that my profile would have a tendency to attract a relatively narrow scope of men....boy was I wrong.

For those of you that know me, you know that I am a city girl at heart who is currently stuck in SW Kansas.  Below is a list of some of the men that have approached me online:

1.  The P90X poster boys-this is the type that look like they should be the poster child for P90X workout.  Muscles, hard bodies, and healthy eating fanatics.  This is the type that bring out my insecurities and make me wonder what they could possibly see in me....I'm just an average girl-why are they talking to me?  I have started going to the gym, but will never be  "hard body" and don't know if I can handle not being the "hot" one in the relationship. 

2.  The young boys-these are the ones that go in the WTF are you thinking file?  They range in age from about 21 to 30.  Yes, most of them are insanely hot, but I think I would feel like I was babysitting if I ever went out with them.  A slightly younger man is acceptable, but I am not looking for a Demi/Ashton relationship-we all see how well that works out.

3.  The illiterate-these are the ones that have never heard of spell check.  Really?  I work in education and I need someone that can communicate with me....not someone that will send me a message that I have to read like 15 times just to try to figure out what you are trying to tell me.  Believe me, I won't take the time to figure it out.

4.  The booty call boys-these are the ones that are only interested in "hooking" up with me.  Really?  Didn't you outgrow that in your early 20s?  I know that I did.

5.  The good guys-unfortunately this category is far too small.  I will admit that I've talked to a few in this category, but typically, they end up being very far away......just hoping that some actually turn into dates someday soon.